HAVE YOU EVER FELT the need to follow along with what a group of people are doing to avoid feeling left out or made fun of? The feelings that arise in such a situation can increase anxiety, give us sweaty palms, elevate our heart rate, and cause butterflies in our stomach. How do we respond to the stressful situation? Do we act the same as the group, do we leave, or do we confront the issue? Why is it so hard to stand alone?
I teach social psychology, "a science that studies how situations influence us, with special attention to how people view and affect one another."1 One of the most popular experiments studied in my class is the group conformity experiment.
One video I show to students follows a young woman who comes to a doctor’s office for an appointment. While she’s waiting to be called, a bell rings, and all the other people in the waiting room stand up and sit back down. The bell continues to ring every few minutes, and everyone continues to stand up and sit down. After the third ring, the young woman stands up too.
One by one the people are called until she is alone in the waiting room. Other people start arriving, and she continues to follow the bell and convinces others to do the same. When the new people ask her why she is doing it, she replies, “Because everyone else did.” When interviewed, she says she felt an immediate relief that she conformed, even if she did not know why she had to stand up.
THREE TYPES OF CONFORMITY
There are three types of conformity. One is acceptance. For this category, you honestly believe that what the group stands for is right and you do what they ask you to do. The second is compliance, which is conforming and carrying out an order even though you do not believe in it. The third is obedience, doing what you are asked to do because of laws or because a higher authority requests it, and you do not question it.2
According to researchers Myers and Twenge,absolute obedience can be coerced if you cannot see the firsthand effects of your actions on someone else or if you do not know the other people personally. If someone you know and trust, someone you have worked with for a long time, gives you an order, it’s harder to refuse. Also, if the request comes from a well-respected institution, it’s harder to not conform.
On the other hand, if a group stands up together, it can create a liberating effect so that more people stand against the request. The size and status of the group will also affect conformity. A public decision has the highest conformity response. It’s harder to change a decision or action once it is in motion. People will be less likely to change their minds because they don’t want to apologize for wrongdoing, as it makes them vulnerable and not in control.3
CHRISTIAN IMPLICATIONS
What does conformity have to do with Christianity? Throughout history, following God’s precepts has not always been the trendy way. There are several Bible characters who were truly God conformists and worldly nonconformists. I think of Noah, who stood alone with his family. Abraham, despite living in an idol-worshiping city, worshiped the true God and decided to follow God’s command to go to an unknown land. Moses stayed faithful despite being offered all a person could want in luxury by the pharaoh. Ruth followed the true God despite having to leave her family. David stayed faithful in the midst of challenges. Esther obeyed God’s calling even with death looming near. Daniel and his three friends stayed firm despite the threat of a fiery furnace and the lions’ den. Paul suffered so much and never denied Christ. Throughout the ages, God has had individuals who follow His teaching and His Word.
We recently watched a play at the Pacific Union College church about the Anabaptist movement. Most of the founders believed wholeheartedly in Bible teachings about baptism, so much so that they were willing to die and be martyred for their beliefs. Then we see the Quakers, who stood against the laws of the land in the United States to help in the underground railroad and fight against slavery. A few people in every country in Europe helped hide Jews and stood against the Nazis despite their death threats.
On the other hand, the Bible shows examples of groups that conformed to the world and to the enemy of God. From the time the Israelites entered the Promised Land, they were seduced by the high places of the Canaanites and Moabites and by the false prophet Balaam (see Numbers 22). The high places were used for idolatrous worship, which promoted sexual immorality of all types and was in total denial of God’s supreme precepts.
Only a small group remained faithful, the Levites. Later, the kings of Israel and Judah—starting with Solomon and continuing with Jeroboam, Ahab, Jehoram, Manasseh, and most of
the other kings until the conquest of Judah by Babylon—brought the perverse practices of the surrounding nations to the people of God and to the Temple itself. These kings influenced the people of Israel and Judah so much that it was hard not to conform to the idolatry present everywhere. The Bible says that “the children of Israel secretly did against the Lord their God things that were not right, and they built for themselves high places in all their cities” (2 Kings 17:9).
WHAT NOW?
You might feel at times as did the prophets, the Levites, the Christians in the Roman Empire, and the Reformers back in the Dark Ages—that you are a minority if you do not conform to the new acceptable ways of the world. But remember what God said to Elijah when he felt alone: “Yet I have reserved seven thousand in Israel, all whose knees have not bowed to Baal, and every mouth that has not kissed him” (1 Kings 19:18).
Paul says in Romans 12:2: “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”
Parents have the supreme responsibility to help their children get to know God for themselves and develop that relationship with Him. Praying as a family and reading and discussing the Bible together every day should become the top priority for every family in these end times. It helps us conform with the Word of God instead of the world around us. Encourage prayerful reflection on God’s Word and time with God either before work and school or before bed. It will be a habit that will provide an armor of defense against evil. One way we can bring constructive conformity to our families is by modeling godly behavior. Be an example for your children. May they see you on your knees and see you open God’s Word. Demonstrating God’s love to others despite hatred thrown your way is another way to show conformity to God’s precepts.
God is calling you to get to know Him as the supreme authority, closer than any parent or friend relationship on this earth. He asks us to trust that His Word is above any institution. We are to do our best to obey our country’s laws and our leaders in the government and our church but not when they go against God’s Word. May we be worthy to suffer when we are persecuted for His name’s sake.
May nothing—our jobs, our families, public opinion, our health, our possessions—separate us from our heavenly Father and His ultimate redemption of this world. “Beloved, do not imitate what is evil, but what is good” (3 John 1:11). I challenge you to conform to our beloved Savior, who will redeem us from sin forever.
1 David G. Myers and Jean M. Twenge, Social Psychology, 14th ed.
(New York: McGraw-Hill, 2015), p. 2.
2 P. R. Nail, G. MacDonald, and D. A. Levy, “Proposal of a Four-Dimensional Model of Social Response,” Psychological Bulletin 126 (2000): 454-470. S. Gibson, “Obedience Without Orders: Expanding Social Psychology’s Conception of ‘Obedience,’” British Journal of Social Psychology 58 (2019): 241-259.
3 T. G. Okimoto, M. Wenzel, and K. Hendrick, “Refusing to Apologize Can Have Psychological Benefits,” European Journal of Social Psychology 43 (2013): 22-31.
