There are several concepts of ethics; we could summarize one of them by saying it's a fundamental system of values on which we base our lives. Every profession has a written code under which it operates, and it is convenient to have an understanding of what others expect of us in determined situations, but it's you who decides if you are going to act on that ethic norm or not.
In the ministry we women have responsibilities to work in conformity with the ethics in the ministerial role even though they're not written, although we know them as the golden rule. We can ask ourselves, "Why be ethical?"
We are lights in the world, and we live in communities where our testimony is manifested positively for the ethics rules that we have. We challenge others when we are ethical.
When we see other people's rights, we are applying ethics. This includes the small things in life.
As pastor's wives, we should know the different temperaments and how to deal with each one of them. We should ask for God's wisdom to do these. Each person wants to find in us a true friendship and spirituality that will attract others. Sometimes people don't see themselves as good people, and they think we see them as they see themselves. Our hearts should be ports that receive all kinds of ships from many different lands.
When pastors and their families move to a different district, it's ethical for the membership to make the move as easy as possible. Leave the house they are going to occupy clean and in good condition. Leave a directory of addresses and telephone numbers of the leaders in the church and note the positions they occupy. Compile a list of addresses for pharmacies, laundries, hospitals, what days the garbage gets picked up, etc. Leave food for them to eat since they are new. All these details would be really appreciated.
We all know that we can't solve all our problems. If we have been treated cruelly, we still have to put a nice smile on our face. That doesn't mean we won't have hurt feeling or think negative thoughts. If our attitude is one of prayer and humility, and if we are trying to follow biblical principles, we will grow in love and forgiveness. It's good to keep what happened in the past and not comment on it. Being ethical could mean going the second mile when you are dealing with difficult people. It is significant to be always grateful and value the efforts of other people.
Every denomination has its own ethics. We as Christians should follow the supreme example of Jesus of Nazareth. He taught us the perfect conduct in every moment—loveand He seasoned every minute of His life with love. Every pastor's wife should do the same. Matthew 7:12 says, "In everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the law and the prophets."
Keep in mind:
It is not convenient to stay in a church when you have been moved to another district.
Don't spend more money than you have. Debt can give a bad testimony in your church.
Don't be a go-between for the members of your church and your husband. If they have something to say, they can talk to him directly.
Don't share your personal life with members of the church.
If they ask you about the new pastor and his family, talk about only the good qualities, never the negatives.
Don't provoke criticism by letting someone see you with someone of the opposite sex who isn't your spouse.
Don't record a message without authorization.
If you accept an invitation from a couple from the previous church, it is important that the invitation go through the present pastor and that you stay at the present pastor's house.
Don't expect from someone else what you wouldn't do for yourself. If you invite a preacher, give him good and comfortable place to stay.
Smile with sincerity always.
When the wife of the visiting preacher sits alone, go sit with her and tell her how much she is appreciated.
