"Since you are my rock and fortress, for the sake of Your name lead and guide me" Psalm 31:3 NIV.
When we married we vowed, "God, we give up all our own plans and purposes, all our own desires and hopes. We accept Your will for our lives. We give ourselves, our lives, our all utterly to You, to be Yours forever. Fill us and seal us with Your Holy Spirit. Use us as You will. Send us where You will. Work Your will in our lives at any cost, now and forever."
It was easy to say. We really meant it. But Lord, do You realize what You are asking us to do? I don't want to move. I'll have to leave my friends. Have tou thought about how lonely I'll be?
I have followed You from one corner of this nation to the other. You gave us the gift of three and a half years here. But I want it to be longer. It is so beautiful.
You know how deeply we love this church. What a joy it has been! We have learned what You can and will do through a church that lives Your love.
Every day You have given us here has been a gift. Friends have anticipated our needs—even our wants—and have met them. We have been through so much together—miracles, births, deaths, trials, joy, sorrow. Our love for these people is so deep.
Everything here is safe and secure and happy. We are well-loved and spoiled. These church members treat us like royalty. Maybe they won't like us in the new church.
I don't want to face the real world or take hard blows or criticism. We have been in a shelter, I don't want to leave it.
Isn't there someone else you could send? I don't want to go. I'm sure there are others more qualified. Find someone with a Ph.D. There are probably at least 200 other pastors who would love this chance. Could You please call one of them? We have always worked in cities where there are lots of sinners. We have never worked in a town of saints. I'm scared. What if I do or say something wrong?
My stomach is knotting in terror. I'm trembling with insecurity. My heart is broken with sorrow.
Your persistent voice follows us through our days. "Go! Go!" It haunts our nights. It torments our sleep. Our vow now plagues me. You have always worked powerfully in our lives. I must trust that You still will.
You left heaven where adoring angels treated You like royalty. You came to this dark planet for me. You foresaw the horrors that awaited You, yet You came.
Now, because Your leading is unmistakable, because any other alternative is to go against Your will, because I see no other way to have peace, I will go. Only please use our ministry to Your Greatest Glory.